The dilemma.

I'm not sure what direction I want to go with this post, but here it goes:

I am so frustrated with myself. I can't seem to slow down. Our lives are ridiculously busy. I almost took a picture of my calendar to show you just how busy we are. (Imagine a calendar with no blank space and 'booking' play-dates a week out.) I know that I do this to myself. I finally have a free moment and instead of sitting down to relax I find something to busy myself with. I so badly want to be the Mom who sews clothes, makes baby food, stays at home at least 3 days a week, etc. But I also want to be the minister who visits the shut-ins and stays in contact with her church family on a personal level (ie. calling people to pray, ladies bible study)... but I want to be the friend who has time to get together... but I want to be a successful photographer with lots of clients... but I want to be the wife who has time to sit down with her husband or go on dates... but I want to have friends and family visit... but I want to etc. Do you see the problem? Between all the things I want to do and our 24 hour/day schedule there just isn't enough time. So what gives?

This is my struggle and I feel so torn. The worst of all is I know Lewis would be a much more regular (on schedule) baby if Tim and I were too. For example, every time we get on a schedule we end up leaving town and it throws him off again. Last night was HORRIBLE! I don't even remember how many times he woke up crying crying crying. (I know partly due to his new tooth.) Although, I couldn't help but think, "Lewis' I know this is my fault you haven't developed healthier habits.' Just until 2 weeks ago he was eating every 2 hours. Due to the fact I didn't have time to realize he was using me as a pacifier. Once a kind friend pointed this out to me I was able to stop it, but had she not it would still be going on.

So what now? What do I cut out? What do I put more time into? First, I am a follower of Jesus Christ. Second, I am a wife. Third, I am a Mom. Fourth, I am a friend. Fifth, I am a minister's wife and minister myself. (Which often gets confused with the first.) Sixth, I am a business owner.

I do want to sew clothes, but I know that's not necessary, nor is making baby food. I do want to blog, but that's not necessary either. I do need to do the laundry and that is necessary! ha ha... This is my personal goal.... to better organize my life and my priorities. Let's all hope and pray.

I'm sorry if I rambled a bit... I was thinking as I wrote.

Carrots

Lewis is 5 months now and we started solids! Carrots were my choice. I have decided to make some of his food; therefore, I used my handy food processor to whip it up. (Thanks to Casey Shell- my good friend from college bought this for us as a baby gift!)

My Mom found these great containers at a consignment sale. As you can see from below they have measurements on the side. We have a total of 32.

The carrots froze well and defrosted without changing consistency. This process only took me about 12 mins to steam the carrots then about another 5-10 mins to blend and pour in the containers. So easy and fun! Too bad the processor was a little noisy and it woke Lewis up. Next time I won't use it during nap time.

Tim and I caught Lewis on video! Thought ya'll might like this.

Mr. Independent

Lewis is becoming his own little person. My Mom says I better watch out... he's gonna be a turkey just like his Momma. Unfortunately, I'm starting to see what she's talking about. Just in the last 2 weeks he has 'developed' new habits.

Lewis with the pacificer in his mouth.

'Hum... how do I get this thing back in my mouth?'

'Hey Mom, I've almost got it!'

'Oh, I'm too frustrated to keep trying... let's throw it on the floor.'

Another new beginning... Lewis likes to hold his bottle.

And his spoon!

A face full of rice cereal mixed with breast milk. (sticky!)

We are currently in Wichita, KS, while I care for my Grandma. We arrived just in time to celebrate Easter at my childhood church, East Point Church of Christ. They had a fun Easter Egg Hunt after services. Being my first time for this I didn't realize I needed to RUSH out the door in order to get an egg for Lewis. Thankfully, I was able to find one on the side of the building.

I know I know it's not like he NEEDS an egg nor does he know what it is, but it's a tradition. Plus, Lewis was very intriged.

Also, while we've been here I've had a chance to catch up with some old friends.

Sarah Davis a good friend from HUF. We shared a bunk bed while at school in Florence.

Stacia Ryan my good friend from childhood. She was also a bridesmaid in our wedding.